A Husband’s Journey Through Love and Loss
An honest account of caregiving, medical mazes, and the cost—and meaning—of love that refuses to quit.
The Unfiltered Journey — Full Story
Tap a section to expand. This is the complete, candid account designed to help others see patterns and find a way out.
1) Childhood: Pawn in a War Between Parents
Raised in a broken home where manipulation, anger, and emotional neglect were common currencies, I grew up believing love and pain were inseparable. As a child, I was used as a pawn between two parents locked in their own battles. That emotional warfare set the stage for a lifetime of failed relationships—over thirty— where I would unknowingly repeat the patterns I thought were normal.
2) Repeating the Cycle: From Victim to Abuser
I wasn’t in trouble, but I would self-implode the relationship to avoid being hurt. It took decades to realize I wasn’t escaping pain—I was recreating it. That allowed me to play the victim and avoid responsibility. Looking back, I was cruel. And here’s a fact I’ve learned: the only species that intentionally hurts its own kind… is human.
Hard Truths
3) Mirror Moment: Marriage #5 & Choosing Accountability
Everything changed when I married a two-time survivor of severe domestic violence. Loving someone who had already endured unimaginable abuse forced me to confront the man I had become. In her eyes, I saw the same pain I’d caused others. That was the moment I chose a different life: to be a protector, not a destroyer.
“The toughest thing I have to live with is all the emotional damage I caused along the way. I wish I could tell them I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness.”
4) Front Lines: Rescues & Relocations
For years I worked on the front lines, coordinating rescues and relocations for victims of domestic violence and human trafficking. After performing over 100 safe moves, I’ve seen nightmares that still visit me. Whenever possible, I requested civil standby or direct coordination with law enforcement to ensure safety and documentation.
5) Caregiving & Slow Decline
When Amy developed gastroparesis—damage linked to past violence—our life transformed into a marathon of appointments, setbacks, and difficult choices. Caregiving was humbling. It taught me how dignity, autonomy, and patience are acts of love. It showed me how easily caregivers can smother someone’s independence if we try to do everything for them.
I now teach caregivers how to help without taking away self-worth.
6) Mission: Early Education, Accountability, Prevention
- Teach students to recognize red flags early.
- Call men into accountability—not shame—so change can begin.
- Equip communities with practical situational awareness.
- Support survivors and caregivers with honest tools and language.
Pain doesn’t have to define you. It can refine you.
7) Timeline (tap to expand each year/phase)
Early Years → Learned Chaos
Emotional neglect, triangulation, and feeling responsible for others’ feelings.
Young Adult → Pattern Repeats
Multiple relationships (2–4 years). Self-sabotage to avoid vulnerability.
Marriage #5 → Mirror Moment
Chose accountability; began transformation from abuser to protector.
Rescues & Security
Coordinated 100+ rescues with law enforcement and civil standby practices.
Caregiving Years
Full-time caregiver to Amy; learned dignity-centered support.
Today
Speaker, advocate, author—using my story to prevent the next victim.